How To Get Out Of A Speeding Ticket

This morsel comes to us via Jenni. Let us all praise her and give thanks.
Okay, enough of that.

The jury's still out though on whether this would get you out of the ticket or just get you shipped off in a nice new white jacket.

Woman: Is there a problem, officer?

Officer: Yes, ma'am, you were speeding.

Woman: I was?

Officer: May I see your license please?

Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.

Officer: You don't have a driver's license?

Woman: I lost it for drunk driving.

Officer: I see. May I have your vehicle registration papers, please?

Woman: I can't do that.

Officer: Why not?

Woman: Because this is a stolen car.

Officer: You stole this car?

Woman: Yes. We had an argument, I lost my temper, and I killed him and took his car. The body is in the trunk.

The officer looked steadily at the woman and then reached in and took the car keys. He slowly backed away to his car to call for back-up.

Within minutes two more police cars pulled up, one in front of the woman's car and one behind. A senior officer stopped to confer with the first officer, and then slowly approached the car, his gun drawn.

Officer 2: Ma'am, please step out of your vehicle.

The woman got out of the car.

Woman: Is there a problem, officer?

Officer 2: Patrolman Harris told me you stole this car and murdered the owner.

Woman: What? Murdered who?

Officer 2: Open the trunk of your car, please.

The woman opened the trunk. It was empty.

Officer 2: Did you steal this car, ma'am?

Woman: No, this is my car. Here's the registration.

The officer looked confused.

Officer 2: Patrolman Harris said you don't have a driving license?

The woman opened her purse, pulled her license from her wallet and handed it to the officer. He seemed quite puzzled.

Woman: What's this all about, officer?

Officer 2: Patrolman Harris told me you were driving without a license in a stolen vehicle, and that you admitted to murdering the owner.

Woman: Hah! I bet the lying bastard told you I was speeding, too.